FlashNano25Day10: Happy wife, happy life

 FlashNano25

Day 10

Prompt: Write a 5-minute (or less) flash play

Setting: Elevator of swanky retail store

Characters:

TFS: Twenty-something female shopper dressed in designer clothing, flashy jewelry, high heels, overburdened with shopping bags. 

FC. Fifty-something female cop, in uniform. 

Random bystander. Dressed in regular streetwear.

Three police, in uniform. 

 

TFS is talking into cellphone, held in one hand while from other dangle several large shopping bags labeled with high end designer names.  She enters elevator and presses button. Door starts closing. 

TFS:  OMG it’s the cutest outfit. Top. Pants. And THE best jacket. (Pause) Please. I’m so worth it. You know what they say hon, happy wife happy life. (Giggles)

Door opens. FC enters, faces TFS, who, ignoring her, hits button again. 

FC (even tone): Ma’am. Excuse me. Ma’am. 

TFS (turns away): Of course I got accessories. It’s not an outfit without accessories. (Pause) Just some earrings, a necklace, two bracelets and the cutest leather belt. Got my hair did too, just for you my love. How cute is this? (She strikes a sultry pose, takes a selfie, sends it.)

FC is louder now: Lady. Lady. LADY!

TFS (obviously frustrated) into phone: Hold on a sec. Some THING here is bothering me. 

(To FC): WHAT? 

FC (all business): You need to come with me.

TFS (flips hair): As if. Who do you think. . .

FC: (puts hands to hip, where handcuffs dangle) Ma’am. Now. 

TFS: (Into phone): Oh my God it’s a mall cop. A mall cop is trying to talk to me. Can you believe it? Too funny, right? 

To FC: Sweetie a good moisturizer would do wonders for that crepey skin. (Continues talking into phone, ignoring FC) 

FC (hits emergency stop button): Ma’am this is serious. Ma’am listen. Ma’am. (Loud enough so person on phone can hear) Ma’am. You left your stroller in the accessories department. We’ve been looking for you for two hours. You need to come with me. 

TFS (looks at her bags, her surroundings, then into phone): It’s nothing, hon. These people.  . . (Her voice trails off as she listens on phone). 

TFS: Honey, you know better than to ask me that. Of course, the baby’s here with me. Give me a sec to deal with this mess. I’ll call you back. (Phone clicks off. Turns to FC) They couldn’t watch him for TEN minutes? God, these people are useless. Accessories department you said? (She hits a button on the elevator display.) Let’s go then. Wait until my husband here’s about this. 

FC: Ma’am, the baby’s downtown at the station. You get one call. If it’s to your husband, so be it. 

(Elevator door opens to three other uniformed officers. All four escort TFS out.)

TFS: (Angrily): Do you know who I am? Wait until my husband hears about this. 

Random bystander, watching her: What an entitled bitch. 

FC: Yeah, I think we do.