That time someone thought they could get away with insulting my state

 At a marathon last summer, a runner responded this way when I told her the state I was from: “The people’s republic of Massachusetts.” I’m guessing she thought she was clever. Rather than comment, which I badly wanted to do, I smiled politely then walked/ jogged away. 

Why did I choose to not respond? 

1.     We were on a loop course and were running into each other – figuratively – every mile or two. If I told her what I really thought at the time – which was that she was an asshole – that would make for a super uncomfortable day, plus make me look like an idiot. 

2.     I wasn’t sure if she truly was an asshole or if she was just being socially stupid. After all, it was a pretty stupid thing to say and a pretty stupid time during which to say it.  

3.     I am often stupid. I tend to give people who say stupid things the benefit of the doubt when I can, because people tend to give me the benefit of the doubt when I say stupid things, which is every day. I say stupid things every day. Every. Day.

Finally, my brain wasn’t working right. We were at a marathon, not at a political debate. I was tired, sore, hungry, thirsty. My knee jerk reaction? To name call? That’s all I had in me at that point and I used what little self-control I still had to walk away. 

After thinking things through, talking with friends and family, and doing some research, here’s a sampling of how I’d respond now if someone called my state “the people’s republic of Massachusetts,” even if they did so during a marathon. And yeah. She was trying to bait me.

It’s actually the COMMONWEALTH of Massachusetts.  

I get it. 

We are hundreds of miles from my state. You are putting me in my place. You are calling out my otherness. 

And you think maligning my state because we tend to vote left of center is hilarious. 

And you think I’m a killjoy or maybe that I'm stupid because I’m not laughing at your miss of a joke and not reacting at all. 

See how I was able to deduce so much about you and your motives from that one comment? I know how to get to the guts of your sentence because I'm from Massachusetts. The layers of meaning hit me as soon as those words left your mouth. I could write reams. I'll try to keep this brief though. 

You don’t understand me or my state. Where to begin? Let me give you some basics. 

First, what’s a commonwealth? Let’s start by looking at what you know, and using some rudimentary inference skills, which you would have if you’d gone to school in Massachusetts because teaching students how to infer is one of the basic tenets of our reading curriculum which is one of the most challengingly rigorous in the entire United States.  

‘Common’ means something everyone has, right? As for ‘wealth?’ You can apply that to lots of wicked awesome things, like money, health, good fortune. So, you can infer with some certainty that a state that is a commonwealth has, at its core, values that involve good things for all, and you’d pretty much be on the nose. 

Now here’s the nitty gritty real stuff behind the word ‘commonwealth.’ My state’s constitution was primarily drafted by none other than THE John Adams. In the fight of good vs evil/ colonies vs. England/ self-rule and freedom vs. taxation without representation, he was one of the supreme hero guys. We have our Declaration of Independence, our country, because of him. 

Adams drafted our state constitution back in 1780.  Using the word ‘commonwealth’ rather than state was a massive game changer. When he used that term he intentionally bitch-slapped stodgy, stuck-in-the-mud England, because that one word was a trigger, signifying a rejection of the British monarchy and aligning our new state with the republican ideal of a citizen-led society that put first and foremost the collective welfare of its people. This was huge in 1780. This was not how things were normally done. 

John Adams was a bad ass. ( Granted, the dude was complicated. He had his pluses and minuses like the rest of us. But bottom line: He was Greek god heroic integral to our nation's quest for independence. Read a book.) 

Collective welfare is bad ass. (England at the time was rooted in the belief that the monarchy was the end all be all, that there was a strict social hierarchy that most citizens were not worthy of being part of, that poor people should stay poor. Seriously, read a book.)

If you grew up in the state of Massachusetts, you would know all this. You would know this and you would know so much more because my state is number one – always or almost always -- in education. 

Did you know that John Adams was a school teacher before he became a lawyer? Off-track a little, I know. And by his own admission, he wasn't all that talented as a teacher. (BTW he taught in my hometown -- yes I'm proud of that.) I have to wonder if the fact that one of our greatest founding fathers had a background in education  is one reason why we as a state are so frickin' proud of and diligent in maintaining our  #1 rank in education.

Now back to it. 

We have the top elementary, middle, and secondary schools in the country. And no, that's not an opinion. Google. And you can’t throw a rock without hitting an internationally known college or university. People come from all over the world to go to school here. And you know what? That diversity helps us learn more about foreign nations. Teaches us compassion for others. Gives us a better understanding of our role in our global community. 

And you know what else? Lots of the people who graduate from these schools love my state so much that they choose to stay. And here’s something else. Smart people tend to make smart people, so there’s no stopping Massachusetts. We are epic. 

At this point I tried to add in all the lists that Massachusetts tops, like most educated state, best health care, environmental protections, museums, historical sites, beaches, ski resorts, restaurants. It got overwhelming because each time I’d find one #1, I’d see another three or four lists with Massachusetts ranked #1. I don’t have all day. Google if you want to see some more of my state’s awesomeness. Prepare to get lost in a maze of amazing.   

And while you’re at it, google our neighboring states. New England is a tiny region compared to the rest of the US. Massachusetts is about three hours wide, not including a trip to P-Town, which is gorgeous and loves everyone. Everyone should visit P-Town.  A visit to P-Town WILL make you a better person. You can cover all of teensy Rhode Island in, like, five minutes no lie. Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont, Connecticut are all a little larger, but the scenery is so spectacular any road trip through those states feels like a few heavenly seconds that you will want to play on constant repeat.  

We’re all so close we can’t help but be connected. We regularly cross borders for school, work, restaurants, shopping, sports, vacations. You name it. Like Massachusetts, these states regularly rank in the top ten of any list you’d care to search out. We have so many opportunities here. So much beauty. It’s insane. New England, and Massachusetts in particular, always top every Best Places to Live list. It is almost ridiculous how number one we are. 

And I know you originally slung that weak ass insult at me mostly because of our politics. Love or hate our politics, know this. Joke’s on you. Sometimes we hate our politics even more than you do. 

Also, many of us voters are only one or two generations away from our wretched refuse descendants who arrived here from distant and often cruel lands that denied our parents, grandparents their basic human rights. We know too well their stories of poverty, famine, victimization. Because we know our history – thank you education system and family stories, and because many of our families once had no rights, we absolutely know our rights are precious. 

We take our rights seriously. If you did any research, you’d know that. 

Another great Massachusetts citizen, John F. Kennedy, almost two hundred years after John Adams wrote our state constitution, had this to say about learning: “The goal of education is the advancement of knowledge and the dissemination of truth.” 

I know that you voted for president someone most of my state didn’t, and you think it’s funny to call me out on that because you ‘won.’ (That’s a story for another day, that some people think elections are like sports teams winning.) 

There’s a basic reason most of us in Massachusetts never voted for president an adjudicated rapist and a felon. Because we’re educated – remember we’re number one in education and have colleges and universities in our literal backyards -- we know how to deduce and infer. We can look at the cumulative actions of one person over time and see the patterns: the lies, the inhumanity, the criminal, the black hole where there should be integrity. We saw and continue to see the truth. 

We're not perfect. (Don't even get me started on our overpriced housing, crappy roads, crappier weather.)  But we're not a people’s republic either. We’re a commonwealth. Common. Wealth. Common. Good. And we’re smart. Wicked smart. 

Oh. One more thing, running related so if what I wrote above doesn't resonate with you, this should. 

After the Boston Marathon bombing, anyone who didn't have a clue of who we are as a state quickly got schooled. 

Not one CEO, business owner, politician, parent, child  complained in the days following the bombing when Boston and the towns nearby shut down completely while our fearless citizens searched out the scum who attempted to defile our beloved marathon and destroy our community. 

Common good.

Here's a quote from New Hampshire guy Adam Sandler that I think does a good job of expressing how we in Massachusetts watch out for each other: "Boston is pretty much the only major city that if you fuck with them, they will shut down the whole city. . . stop everything. . . and find you." 

Common good. 

Here's another, from Massachusetts resident/ Red Sox player David Ortiz,  right before starting  the first game after the city re-opened:"This is our fucking city and nobody is gonna dictate our freedom."

Common good. 

And finally this: "No more hurting people. Peace." Martin Richard, age 8.  Youngest Boston Marathon bombing victim. 

Heartbreaking.  

Common good. 

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to brag about my state. Insult me and my home state any time, but preferably not before, during, after marathons. This is only the tip of the awesomeness iceberg.  I'm willing and ready to share so much more. Plus, seems like you've got a lot to learn. Have a wicked awesome day.