Happy 75K to me!

 Happy 75K to me!

 

This weekend I hit a milestone, 75,000 views on my blog, http://alwaysatthestartingline.blogspot.com.

Big whoop. Yeah, I know. In the real world, that amount is nothing. 

Just checked in on a few sites I like to browse through pretty regularly. One favorite political podcast already has 173K views on a bit they published just an hour ago. A two-day-old trendy late night television pundit’s post has double that amount.  And little ol’ me? Shucks. I’m over the moon that I’ve gotten a comparatively teeny 75,000 hits over the course of a whopping dozen years. 

But in truth I’m shocked. Somebody out there reads my stuff! I’m blown away that ANYone reads my stuff. I don’t write about popular subjects. My writing is often clunky and could certainly use a good editor. I don’t deliberately solicit views by advertising brands. I just write about what I feel like writing. That some people like to read what I write is incredible to me. I’m grateful. Thanks!

That 75,000 is more than I ever thought possible. 

It’s not like I started writing this blog hoping to make a splash on the global literary community. Wasn’t expecting any views, quite frankly. I started this blog because I wanted to become a better writer and figured one way to get better at writing was to practice. I wanted to write everyday but I’m lazy about lots of things. Saying in public that I was going to blog every day was a way to hold myself accountable, to make myself write. 

I wrote my first blog post over a dozen years ago, July 29, 2012. https://alwaysatthestartingline.blogspot.com/2012/07/ready-set-slog.html

Since then, I’ve written another 174 entries. Some are good. Some are bad. Some are awful. I’m okay with that and fine with you being all judgy if you want to be. I’m just trying to figure things out. I’m not perfect. I don’t pretend to be. Okay sometimes I DO pretend to be – kinda like faking it until you make it? But I usually end up flat on my face when I try to be someone I’m not. So most times I try to just be me. I’ve got a lot to work on, and that’s okay. It’s the work that matters. Just like it’s the journey that matters. 

Speaking of work, here are some stats that show that sometimes I put in the time and sometimes I don’t.

That first year, I wrote lots of posts -- 29 days in a row. I wrote another dozen posts in 2012. 

In 2013: 22 posts. 

In 2014: 40.

In 2015: 13.

In 2016: Only 2. I was engaged in a lot of other writing that year. I was in my second year of working on my Master’s of Fine Arts in Writing, and in addition to working full-time and juggling often-overwhelming family responsibilities, was reading tons of books and scholarly articles every month and was also generating and editing scores of pages of writing every month. 

In 2017: Only 5 posts. It was a bad year. One of these days I will write about it in more detail. This Anne Lamott quote comes to mind when I think of doing so: “If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.”

In 2018: 6 posts. Started off the year prepping for another year of grad school so spent most of January to May doing all the requisite reading, writing, editing. This was in addition to full-time work and nearly full-time care of loved one. Rug got pulled out from under me (sudden family member illness) days before the writing residency, which was on another continent, was set to start. That setback, along with some others, did a job on me. The last thing I felt like doing was thinking.

2019 to August 2022: Nothing. I was still finishing grad school work and still caring for loved ones. Thinking about those times now, I guess marathoning goals were taking precedence over writing.  Plus, I was having serious trouble concentrating. Grieving had a lot to do with that, I guess. Running a bunch of marathons was easy in comparison to putting words on a screen. 

2022: Two very small posts. 

2023: One post, celebrating my retirement from teaching. Kept it pretty vague and brief. Not sure I can write about my professional experiences with any sort of distance yet. I worked with some great people. But also, there were idiots. Idiots everywhere. One day I’ll write about my experiences. But not yet. 

Here’s my retirement post where I did NOT go scorched earth. One of these days I will though. It’s a goal. https://alwaysatthestartingline.blogspot.com/2023/07/teaching-302-years-13-lyrics.html

 

2024: 9 posts. Slowly starting to make my way back to the keyboard. 

2025: 35 posts. Maybe this is what a comeback looks like? 

 

Blogger, the medium I use to publish, has pretty much gone clunky and is heading toward obsolescence, kind of like AOL, which I also still use. I’ve tried switching email servers so many times. But my entire life gets mailed to an AOL address and changing to the gmail and other accounts I’ve set up over the years gets too complicated. If I want a bigger audience, I should probably say good-bye to blogger. If I’m going to start writing more, this is something I need to consider. 

Blogger keeps some neat stats but nothing personal. I can’t see who reads my posts. So, if like me you stalk old friends, neighbors, crushes, frenemies and are hesitant about reading my stuff because you’re worried you’ll leave a trace of yourself and get me wondering, no problem. I don’t get your personal info. So read my stuff if you want. I won’t know it’s you. 

I won’t see your name, but I will see what country you’re from. In total, my writing has been read in over 40 countries, and on every continent but Antarctica. I think that’s wild. 

Most engagements? The United States, no surprise, is #1. Singapore, for some crazy reason, comes in second, followed in order by these locales:  Hong Kong, Brazil, South Korea, Vietnam, France, Germany, Russia. 

I wonder how many of the numbers represent actual people. There’s a good shot that many of these views are bots. I check my blog stats maybe twice a day or so. I can see in real time what country is viewing my work, what post the reader is opening, and what time the post was viewed. It’s easy to tell bots vs. human. When the bots are active, I’ll get hundreds of views in an hour, for example. But in most cases, I see those views inch up one, two, five views at a time, which tells me real people are at least glancing at my words. Thank you, if you happen to be one of them.

Here are my top ten posts for now. The one I wrote after the Boston Marathon bombing is the top view-getter. I agonized over that one. I remember at one point I’d written about ten pages on what the Boston Marathon meant to me. I deleted all of that, ending up with what I think is something a bit vague, disjointed, and cringy. Oh well. 

The other posts are about running certain marathons --  Chicago, San Francisco, Hartford, Boston 2014, or are on being a lone caregiver to elderly parents. That latter subject? OMG. Still recovering. 

As a writer, I like to look back at my pieces because I get insight into what I do well and what I need to work on. Writing is humbling. Warts and all, here are my biggies. 

https://alwaysatthestartingline.blogspot.com/2013/04/boston-saved-me.html

 

https://alwaysatthestartingline.blogspot.com/2013/03/a-different-kind-of-workout.html

 

https://alwaysatthestartingline.blogspot.com/2015/10/chicago-i-do-believe-in-you-and-i-know.html

 

https://alwaysatthestartingline.blogspot.com/2016/01/2016-hello-big-c.html

 

https://alwaysatthestartingline.blogspot.com/2017/01/three-marathons-and-baby-breakdown.html

 

https://alwaysatthestartingline.blogspot.com/2015/07/i-left-my-quads-in-san-francisco.html

 

https://alwaysatthestartingline.blogspot.com/2015/09/the-other-side-of-normal.html

 

https://alwaysatthestartingline.blogspot.com/2015/03/going-for-run.html

 

https://alwaysatthestartingline.blogspot.com/2016/02/dear-framingham-heart-study-thanks.html

 

https://alwaysatthestartingline.blogspot.com/2015/04/remembering-boston-2014-part-2.html

 

I took writing for granted for a long time. It hit me a few months ago that this is an outlet that I still need. It was mid-August and I was headed to the airport for a three-week trip to Australia that would culminate in running the Sydney Marathon. I was a jittery mess. Couldn’t keep my thoughts straight. Wasn’t sure why. I’ve been to lots of countries and run lots of races. I’d never felt so out of sorts as I did that day at the airport. I could not keep still. My head was running a mile a minute. I paced up and down corridors. 

Spur of the moment, I popped into one of the terminal stores and bought a writing journal. Starting in the airport while I waited to board, and nearly every day of the trip, I wrote. Pages and pages. I wrote about my mother and father, my cats, my kids, the sights I was seeing, the food I was eating, the smells, conversations. I wanted to capture everything. I rose at dawn and with my words tried to capture the sunrise, the flora, fauna, the excitement, dread, joy. My trip roommate told me something was happening to me. That I was on the verge of something new. 

I don’t know about that, but I left Australia with marathon #98 done and new perspectives on lots of things. Thinking back, some of my favorite times involved sitting at a corner table in some anonymous hotel café, with a cup of coffee, a pen, some paper, and breathing in the world around me. I’m glad I bought that journal. I needed it. 

Similarly, I’m glad I’ve had this opportunity, for years now, to share my words. Grateful too that some of you kind souls take the time to read them. Wondering what the future will bring and looking forward to new opportunities, writing and otherwise. Forward continues to be a pace. Until next time, thanks for everything.