Cut to the chase: No-nonsense runner gifts that won't break your bank

I was going to start this off by saying that all a runner really needs is a decent pair of shoes. Edited that thought right out of my brain when a barefoot nut job shot past me like he stole something around mile 18 of my most recent marathon.  

But in truth, we runners don’t require tons of expensive crap. Hundred-dollar track shorts? Hype. Sparkly bra straps? Fun hype. Technological doohickeys?  Hype that will be outdated or broken seconds after we throw out the receipts.

   

Here’s what we really need: someone to clean the house, mow the lawn, grocery shop, cook, and in an ideal world work our day jobs for us so we can spend all our time running, cross-training, sleeping, eating, obsessing over our next races. Seriously, a homemade gift certificate promising to make dinner twice a week or clean the kitchen for a month is a super thoughtful gift. Hint. Hint.

Runners aren’t too hard to please. We love our commemorative t-shirts and medals, our race sacs filled with sponsor chapsticks, bottle openers, staplers – yup, from a 5k this past September, healing lotions, hard candies. We are the little kid who goes to the birthday party for the goody bag. We are the five-year-olds of the sporting world. 

I’m not saying I’d turn up my nose at a home treadmill, or a $120 pair of Lululemon running pants. Obviously, I’d politely keep the treadmill because winter in New England. But I would just as politely return the overpriced running pants and use the cash to register for a couple of races, or buy myself a bunch of shorts and socks from my local running store, and maybe a decent pair of yoga pants from Marshall's too. 

The intent of this list is to cut to the chase and offer some sane gift solutions. If you’re inclined, by all means spend a ton of cash on your runner this holiday season. There are plenty of merchants out there more than ready to convince you that you absolutely positively must go into debt on behalf of your loved ones or it just ain't Christmas. But if you want to save a buck or three, and still give your runner something he or she will appreciate, read on.  

1. Good running socks.  $8+.  Avoid cotton.  Here are some brands we love, though this is by no means a complete list: Thorlo, Feetures, Brooks, Asics.

Really truly: cotton + running = OUCH!!!!

   

2. Foam roller. $30+.  Basically, a meat tenderizer for your muscles. Excellent self-massager for pre- and post-run time. 

Foam roller: A runner's best friend.

 3. The Stick. $20+ A self-massager, like the foam roller, but more travel-friendly. 

The Stick: The foam roller's plucky little sister.

4. Gus, gels, energy shots. $1+.  We always need this stuff and usually forget to buy it.  

 

5. Bath salts. $3+.  Epsom salt baths soothe and relax aching muscles. You can buy pre-made gift jars or give your runner the ingredients to concoct her own recipe. All you need are Epsom salts, baking soda, and some essential oils. 

6. Body lubricant.  $5+ . Chafing is the runner word for that horrific burning sensation brought on when skin meets skin/ seams/ cotton over and over for miles and miles.  Lots of runners swear by Body Glide, but there are plenty of other great products out there. Ask your local running pro. She’ll know. 

Nothing frictional here: Lots of runners swear by this brand too.

7. Gloves/ Mittens. $1+.  You can blow some serious bucks on keeping your fingertips warm. And maybe you want to and if so, fine. I have two pairs of expensive running gloves and rarely wear them because I’m afraid of losing one. I tend to drop things when I run. Plus, my cheapo gloves are warmer. Personally, I’m a fan of the Target two for $2 specials. 

These are great. 

These may not have all the bells and whistles, but maybe you don't need gloves with bells and whistles.

8. Motivational calendar. Runner’s World always puts out a great one, which I usually permanently misplace sometime in February. Still, I hear calendars are a great way to keep yourself organized.

9. Dark chocolate and red wine. Both heal muscles. Both should be purchased in large quantities for maximum effectiveness.  

Looking at this, I'm getting thirsty just thinking of all the muscles I could be healing right now. 

10. Fitness equipment she’ll use. $10+.  Runners in the know swear by core training. Items like stability and Bosu balls, weights, yoga mats are our gym staples. Having access to them at home is priceless on cold winter days.   

 

Stability: We all need it, or so I've been told.

11. Running books, books, and more books.  My favorite right now: “The Terrible and Wonderful Reasons Why I Run Long Distances” by The Oatmeal, also known as Matthew Inman.  It’s quite funny, easy on the eyes, and super smart, like me and all my runner friends.  

A sample of why I adore this book.

12. Gift certificates. The sky is the $$$ limit. In addition to the obvious place – your local running store, how about getting your runner a massage or a personal training session?

13. Membership. $20+.  If your runner is a little nutso about longer distances, consider signing her up for membership with a judgment-free group that will accept her peculiarities with open arms and blistered feet. Maybe get her a membership with your local running club. Or look into signing her up for these national, freakishly obsessed groups:  Marathon Maniacs and/ or Half Fanatics. Visit www.marathonmaniacs.com for more info and qualification standards. 

Your runner might feel at home in one of these groups.  Happy to say I feel welcome in both.

I’d write more but the sun is shining, the sky is bright blue, the snowplows have finally scraped the pavement clean, yesterday’s third helping of pecan pie is weighing heavy on my hips, and I’m craving chocolate and red wine. In other words, it’s time for a run.  

Oops. One last thing. If none of the above strikes your fancy, maybe try this. Nudge. Wink.