FlashNano25
Day 7
Prompt: Write a story in the form of a list. Use the number seven in the title.
Sans even a clue
1. Let's have statewide mandatory student testing! What an awesome way to ensure that kids learn! It'll cost next to nothing but the benefits? Wowza! Yay for everyone learning.
2. Oh boy. It's going to cost a little more than we think. A lot more, I mean.
3. Oh, and we need to set strict guidelines.
4. Third graders should be able to sit for four hour straight, right?
5. Teachers say that's abusive. They're saying these standardized tests aren't helpful and shouldn't stand alone as representing who kids are and what they know.
6. Those teachers are so stupid. They really think we, the folks making six figures who got our jobs because we know someone, are going to listen to them? I have a more powerful job, therefore I'm smarter. They're citing Piaget? Erickson? Maslow? Their own experiences? Excuses excuses.
7. Bathroom breaks during testing? Insanity. Not as a group. Make sure kids wait until the one monitor for their entire floor of like ninety kids or whatever can take them one at a time. So what if they have to wait an hour or more. They can keep working. It's called discipline. Seig Heil!
8. Forgot their glasses? Grown ups can't bring them? Of course those kids have to take the tests. No excuses. They can squint. Test away! Wheeeee!
9. Sick kids? Just put a frickin' wastebasket next to them. Wusses.
10. Yes, of course give them lunch. We're not animals. Hand deliver it to them in their testing classrooms. No they can't talk. What if they share test answers?
11.We're going to need more money.
12. Maybe we should shame teachers more.
13. Teachers keep quitting? Good riddance. They're a dime a dozen anyhow.
14. Okay, now we have more kids scoring advanced, but those inner city school scores are still shit.
15. Of course it's the teachers. And the curricula. Let's spend more money on programs we don't need that don't work. And keep telling everyone the teachers are at fault.
16. Huh. Yeah, so we keep putting pressure on all those cities and towns with failing students. But the scores aren't changing.
17. OMG OMG OMG!!!! I have a great idea! Let's throw more money at the problem! Oh, and don't forget to continue that inner city teacher shame campaign! Let 'em all leave! They sucked anyhow. We'll get newer, smarter teachers.
18. Wow. These young teachers don't have any mettle. They keep quitting. They don't make 'em like they used to.
19. Okay so things aren't changing as much as we thought. We're throwing money at the problem. Changing curricula. Shaming teachers. But STILL our inner city kids aren't passing these tests.
20. Well, a lot of those kids are immigrants. They're just starting to learn English. And we have lots of kids with special needs, too.
21. OMG so many excuses.
22. We're giving the kids a WHOLE YEAR to learn English before we test them. I know. It takes seven years or so for students to fully learn a language, and yes, some need more and some less. But if we only give them a YEAR and then start testing them? That's pressure. That's good. They'll rise to the challenge. They won't drop out of anything. They won't get angry and act out or anything, right?
23. Special needs kids are getting frustrated? Tough. No one ever said life was easy.
24. Sure, they won't get a high school diploma if they don't pass, but NORMAL kids don't give up. I mean, I never gave up. Like every human being on the face of this earth, I lived in a house that always had heat and electricity, was raised by loving parents in a stable environment, had tons of books, was read to constantly, always had nutritious food, music lessons, sports programs, had so many opportunities to grow in so many different ways. I grew up the same as every other kid who ever existed. This bullshit test failing? Damn teachers.
25. More money more money more money. Gimme all the money. Years and years of this.
26. Hey, here's something. Someone I deeply respect because they make tons of money and might be politically connected so it's to my advantage to do what they say says there's a correlation between low income and low test scores. Huh.
25. You sure about that? Teachers have been saying that for YEARS and we know they're stupid.
26. But we should respect and listen to people who make tons of money who have tons of influence and who can advance our careers.
27. More money more money more money more money more money and test results barely budge.
28. Finally. Maybe it's not the teachers' fault. Maybe it's bigger than that. Maybe it's societal, economical, emotional. Maybe testing isn't the end-all-be-all of existence.
29. So are we saying that teachers had it right all along?
30. Oh please. Never.
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