2016: Hello, Big C

When I first began this blog, I’d just returned from a phenomenal writing workshop with the great John Dufresne, hometown hero and author of one of my all-time favorite books, Love Warps the Mind a Little. John gave us lots of great advice, and one particular piece that stuck with me was simple: Write every day.

I knew that if I kept the goal open-ended, I’d likely fail. Write every day for the rest of my life? I get the sentiment. I get that it’s true. But I wasn’t ready to accept it. Not sure I’m ready yet.  

I’m used to working best when I have a tangible deadline, like a semester end, or a marathon. I knew I needed to write more. I decided to jump start my practice by writing every day that summer until school started up again at the end of August. 

Some days, it was easy to fit in the writing.  I’d sit down first thing in the morning and before I knew it, it was mid afternoon, and I’d knocked out some decent pages. Other days, finding the time to write was difficult. There were lots of all-day hospital visits with certain family members that first summer that were mentally and physically draining.  There were fun distractions too, like day trips to the beach.

Through it all, I managed to rise to the challenge. I stayed consistent. I met my goal.

I know that consistency is the key to getting what you want out of life.  My proof: 20 marathons, countless half marathons, two kids with college degrees, the roof over my head.

Now we start 2016 and I call upon the Big C -- consistency -- again. What I need this year isn’t something tangible. It’s not a race medal, a new kitchen, a college degree. What I need is something you hold in your heart, not something you can touch or see. What I need this year is mental fortitude.

Consistency is job one. Consistency in thoughts: remembering gratitude, small steps, falling seven times and rising eight.

Consistency in action, too. I love running marathons. Two years ago, I set a long-term goal to run one in all fifty states. I only have thirty-nine states left to go. I was hoping to get in another half dozen this year. Right now, I’m not sure I’m able to sign up for any events that require travel, long-term planning, tons of preparation. I’m even holding off on signing up for the second semester of grad school.

While marathons and grad school are part of taking care of myself, both are stressful in their own ways. Right now, I'm full to the brim with quite enough stress. I do not need second and third helpings. 

I need to be mentally and physically present here at home. I need to be available. I’m not saying I won’t do a marathon or five this year. Not saying I won’t sign up for grad school either. Just saying that at this time, I'm not ready to make any decisions.  I’ll figure those other things out in time. I’ve done the research, and know my marathon and grad school deadlines. I’m good.  

Just because certain things in my life are on hold, that doesn’t mean I’m going to sit back and let my heart and head fall apart.  For me, physical and mental fortitude go hand in hand.  Every long run reminds me that I’ve got more in me, physically and mentally, than I ever thought possible. Every page I write reminds me that I’m on my way to being who I want to be.

Bottom line: mental fortitude. 

I’m taking on a new challenge: completing 1,000 running miles in 2016. This works out to be about twenty miles a week. 

No biggie for a marathoner, right? Actually, wrong.

When I set the goal, a few years back, to become a Marathon Maniac, I cut down on my running and upped my cross training. I deliberately did this to prevent the overuse injuries that plagued me most of my first dozen marathons. I haven’t run consistent weekly mileage in years. So this focus on twenty miles a week is truly a challenge. 

I plan on continuing to write too. If I don’t sign up for the next grad semester, I’ll probably start posting a lot more here. I’ll continue working on the umpteen first draft short stories I’ve created over the years. Right now, I have two that I’m in the process of re-working.

I know that part of mental fortitude is taking care of yourself. I need to write like I need to run. It’s part of what makes me whole.  You can’t take care of others if you don’t take care of yourself.

Back in 2012, a few months before I started this blog, my family got news about a loved one and an illness. Things stabilized, and even improved. Every day of the last four years has been a gift.

But the only constant in life is change. Funny, how consistent that is. And just as consistently, every day continues to be a gift.

Change. Challenge. Constant. Consistent.

2016, you promise to be a terrible, beautiful year.  I promise to do my best to meet you head on.   

New mantra.